Babies and Photography

This happened a few weeks ago, but am only posting it today:

E- Are you going to be taking pictures of babies, Mom?

J- Yes I nodded.

E- Are you going to be okay? She asked with a worried look on her face.

J- I think so. I'll tell you tonight!

E- You couldn't have done this a year ago, could you? Or even a few months ago?

J- No, but I think I'm okay with it now. I'm not sure. We'll see

This is the conversation Elle and I had with each other as we both got ourselves ready for the day yesterday. She was off to school and I was off to a friends home, who is a talented photographer. Susan and I have been friends since high school and she had invited me to have a jam session with her, where we try new things we've wanted to learn.

Yesterday was our day to make photos of two newborns...in poses that we'd never done before. Well...we didn't get the "One" we had been trying for. But maybe another day (I'm still trying to figure out what we need to do to get it).

On the drive up to Susan's home I had started thinking about life and what we've felt this past 1 1/2 years. Such a myriad of emotions.

A week or so ago I took Sydney and her friends skiing at Alta...as they have a fabulous program for beginner skiiers...Ski Free After Three. I was in the rental store and ran across an old friend from my ski school days. As we were chatting and catching up on each other's life, she asked how many children I had and I proudly answered "Four."

Her eyes just about popped out. She made some comment about raising all of them and then I decided to let her know that I was only raising three. That changed the course of the conversation and we talked briefly about Connor. I mean really brief...I could sense that she was a little awkward in knowing what to say.

Maybe I should not have brought him up...but she works with my dad and I knew she'll find out the real situation sooner or later. So I told her.

Then she made a comment to the effect of "I'm sorry you had to go through that." She was very kind and sincere in her comment and I thanked her. Then I shared with her that I would do it all over again because even though it has been difficult, having my son has been one of the sweetest experiences of my life.

Yesterday as we worked with these newborn girls...I was okay. I sensed that I wanted to hold them, whereas I have not wanted to be around newborns during this past year. So, that's a new one for me.

I realize I may not feel that way tomorrow, but yesterday was fun for me to hang around some beautiful babies.

Thanks Susan! You have been kind to me, allowing me to act as a second shooter to a special event at the Salt Lake Temple and again yesterday. I know you'll be embarassed by this praise, but I want to say thank you.



- photo by Susan Richins

Getting out of my home and being allowed to "do" photography with someone who does beautiful work...has been a huge blessing in my life right now.

- Jen