Birthday Traditions

My family has the COOLEST birthday tradition. My mom came up with the idea somewhere and started it when we were little --- and you know it's a tradition that is being passed down!!

How it works...the day before our birthday, while we're not home, someone will make a birthday cake and hide it where the birthday person won't find it.

The next morning everyone will quietly get up and assemble in the kitchen to light the birthday candles and gather presents. Then the "quiet" trek to the bedroom of the birthday girl/boy. The birthday girl has been trying very hard to stay asleep, or at least pretend to really be asleep. But heh, how many of us can sleep when there's at least five people tiptoeing around the halls, whispering to the others to be quiet, the rustling of presents and then you can always see the light from the candles coming down the hall.

It's the BEST traditon! I remember all those years, so excited and anxious for everyone to come into my room and "wake" me up by singing Happy Birthday. It starts a special day off with a bang and makes us feel so special. It made me feel like my family was so glad I was born. After I'd blow out the candles and opened my presents, we'd all tromp down to the kitchen to have birthday cake for breakfast!! What other family in the world has cake for breakfast? Mine does!!!

We've continued this tradition in our family and even Spencer has become hooked on it.

Well, before Connor was born I came across the story of a little boy named Eliot, who like Connor, had Trisomy 18. Only Eliot lived 99 days. Each day he was alive his parents had a birthday party for him. Nothing elaborate for most days, sometimes it was only a cupcake with a sign saying how many days he had lived.

When I read this story I wanted to do the same for our son. I wanted him to live a few days. I wanted time with him...but we all know the outcome. We had planned on buying him a Mrs. Backer's cake for him, to have at the hospital on the day he was born to celebrate his birth.

What touched me was that my sister Lori had the same idea.

But Connor was born on a Monday...and anyone who know Mrs. Backer's...knows they are always closed on Mondays.

Dissappointment.

So, no cake on that day. My siblings offered to go and get one the next day, but I told them "No," as there was no point. Our son had passed away by then.

I arrived home on Christmas Eve. During the evening hours of Christmas Day my mother and father-in-law came to visit unexpectedly. My MIL walked in the door holding a box and I knew immediately what it held.

A Mrs. Backer's cake.

These are expensive cakes and don't ask me why they are so special to me. Somehow, somewhere they became so (maybe during my years at East High).

When I saw the cake I was stunned. I asked my MIL why she bought us one? It was not like her to buy such an expensive cake (she loves to make and decorate her own cakes) nor did she have any idea I had wanted to get one. I didn't even know she knew this particular bakery existed. A sweet conversation ensued in which I learned that Heavenly Father asked someone to do something to show me that He knew my feelings and wanted to show me He cared.

And it was just a dumb little cake.

I love the inscription she had written on the cake - "Celebrating the life of Eli Connor."

Several months ago as I was driving by Mrs. Backer's, I thought about our birthday tradition and started planning on what we'd do for Connor's upcoming birthday. In my mind I thought "We'll get a cake from Mrs. Backer's and we'll get up early and then go upstairs and sing..."

It never dawned on me until right then how heartbreaking it would be for me to sing Happy Birthday to an empty room and empty crib.

What to do for his birthday? It's been on my mind for months. I guess we're going to have to tweak our birthday tradition for our Littlest Clark.

I want to celebrate it and do it in a special way.