The "Big" Picture

It's hard not to get melancholy at times. Like tonight.

I jumped on Pottery Barn's website to show my mom some of their color schemes and paint swatches for her living room. It's been FOREVER since I've been on that site, so afterwards I started looking around.

Cute stuff.

But then I went to the Christmas section and I saw a few tree ornaments that made me kind of sad. The little choo-choo train, the little red airplane and the picture frame ornaments.

Somehow they remind me of what little boys are all about...noise, machines, things that go.

I think a new tradition we'll start is buying an ornament each year for Connor, at least for a few years. It will just continue something that was started by a friend last year. Spencer brought me home on Christmas Eve and there was a small box waiting for me - from a friend in our neighborhood. I don't remember the exact words, but it was a small tree ornament, engraved with a saying that said something to the effect of..."I can't be with you...I'm with Jesus this year."

I just mutilated the saying - it sounded MUCH better than how I just wrote it.

So last Christmas Eve I hung it on our tree and this year we'll add another ornament just for him, though he'll never be around to see it.

And someday I'll get those picture frame stocking holders - one for each member of our family.

But you know...it's only stuff. The ornament really doesn't matter. Nor do the stocking holders.

Connor's short life has helped me remember that it's only "stuff" and it has no meaning in the "big picture." His life is a constant reminder of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. And the importance and value of each family member. His life has made me start to realize just how much I love my husband, each of my children, my parents and my brother and my sisters. I love them.

Earlier this evening was a good for me - as we snuggled up together as a family and watched a movie together that made us laugh - and of course we had to rewind the funny parts so we could laugh again!

This is what it's all about.

A sweet evening which followed yesterday's "sucker" day (I'll write about that another time).