Grief Group

Life goes on, the "sad days" rarely happen and are replaced by "sad moments." But then "It" hits like it did last night and I felt like I felt in January and February. Last night I just cried like I haven't in a long time. A deep sadness.

I hate it when this hits this hard. It's funny- I'm moving along and for whatever reason the emotions hit and all my poor husband can do is hold me and wipe away my tears.

I'm grateful for his tenderness.

Confession Time...

We've been going to a "Grief Group."

During the summer months our family attended a Grief Group each Wednesday night, sponsored by Primary Children's Hospital. I actually found that those nights were the highlight of my entire week!! It was so good for all of us.

In early June I called up to Rainbow Kids to talk with them about another matter and she mentioned they were holding this group. She invited us to bring our kids and to come. I was hesitant to go, as I thought we were doing pretty well in our grieving process and who wants to admit going to a support group? But I talked with Spencer and we decided, "What the heck, let's try it one time and see."

We never missed a night, it was that good!!

They have a meeting for kids and one for the parents and it was fun!

I must say I hate the name "Grief Group", as it sounds so dramatic, but the meetings were anything but. They were beneficial to us all. I would actually keep track of how many more days until it was time to go...and then each evening passed by much too quickly.

It was fun. We laughed together. And cried. And hurt for others. And felt true empathy for their pain. We bonded and missed someone when they could not make it on a particular night. It was a true group experience.

I loved how I could share anything I felt, without having to censure my wording. I love that feeling of just being able to let it all out (that's one of the many reasons I love the relationship I have with my husband). No mincing of words. And it was okay and others felt able to do the same.

I quote another mother's description of Grief Group:

I have never been to such a group and wondered if we were to stand and “say my name is...” I wondered if there would be tormented crying and I wouldn’t be able to identify with the others in the room. Instead I felt normal among them, I felt that we all understood each other, yet are wise enough to know from our experience that we truly don’t understand exactly how they feel. Grief is so individual, each of us approaches it differently… I, with humor, and prolific journal writing. Nathan is glad for work to go and get in the zone. We all looked normal, no tear soaked faces, no defeated body language…I felt like them, pleased that I was not abnormal in my grief. We all want life to go on, and also resent that it has."
- Leta

I especially loved the last line of what Leta wrote: We all want life to go on, and also resent that it has.

Grief Group was fun. How can a grief group be fun? It was for us - I met some neat people who I will always remember and look forward to seeing them again soon. And Orley and Janet- thank you for being there!!

Here are my newest friends whose time together was one of the highlights of my summer.



I know a few of you who read this journal have recently lost children. If you are interested in the Grief Group, a new group will start at Primary Children's Hospital in early October. So call them if you're interested.

- Jennifer