Connor's Headstone

This is my journal entry from a few nights ago:

Tonight we went and purchased the granite for Connor's headstone.

It's in China.

So it will be months before this small chunk of rock will be shipped over to our little corner of the earth. That means it probably won't be in place by his first birthday (unless a few miracles occur).

I will have to be okay with that.

Afterwards we drove over to the Salt Lake Cemetary to check out another headstone and I marveled at the beauty. The cemetary is up on a hill, overlooking the Salt Lake Valley. There were storm clouds overhead, with light rain falling, yet the sun was shining from the west, so that you could see the rain fall through the sunshine and it was beautiful to me. Spencer and I stopped and just watched, it was so pretty.

I never ever would have conceived the idea of having a tender moment with my husband - barefoot, with rain falling on us, the sun shining, watching a rainbow...in a cemetary.

But I loved it. And the rainbow reminded me of several things - one of them being the other rainbow experiences we've had starting since we were engaged.

Oh, I so wish I had had my camera with me. I wanted to take a picture to remember tonight. I actually felt beauty around me and it was nice to feel it again. When someone you truely love dies, you don't care about those types of things for awhile...but I have been told that I'll slowly start to feel again and to see beauty.

I guess tonight was one of those moments for me.

In a cemetary of all places!!