Maybe I should shut all the blinds in our home until the storm passes.
Okay, that last line that popped out of my head just reminded me of a plaque that my brother Konnor discovered a few weeks ago. Here's a photo of it, cause I loved it too!
It now sits in our kitchen, near the sink where I can see it often and be reminded. But as you can also see, I'm not dancing in the rain yet- though I am trying to. You'll see that the tone of my blog entries are changing. It's getting harder and harder for me. You'd think it would get easier with time, but it's quite the opposite.
During the past seven years Spencer and I have weathered many storms, one after another. One friend even commented, "We keep wondering what's going to happen to you next." We hope that we're weathering each storm a little better than the last - and learn to pick out the good in each AS we go through it, thus the favorite line of that quote: "It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I am SO grateful I was asked to be Connor's mom!! Even though I'm struggling right now, I would never give this experience away.
2 comments:
I'm sure it's so difficult at first, but you are surrounded by family and friends. There are things to plan and details to take care of that keep you busy. Then, suddenly life is supposed to pick up where you left off when really you're on a completely new track.
Helen Keller said- "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
I loved this quote and thought of you because you DO see the other door that has been opened. You do. But it's okay to keep glancing back at the closed door. It's okay.
Jennifer, I felt like the second couple of months after Elizabeth were born were even harder than those leading up to her birth. Because I still looked pregnant, but wasn't. Because I had empty arms. Because of things like that dentist visit. Really, the whole first year after she was born was just difficult - reliving all those milestones and anticipating her first birthday. Things have gotten much better since. I think of her every single day, but the pain is not quite so raw. I'm wrapping up her birthday project right now - gowns, blankets, hats and bracelets for the infant bereavement program at my hospital. It's been a very healing project for me.
Hang in there~
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