Words...

I love these words from Paul Cardall, who is waiting for a donor heart:


In the midst of suffering I try to remind myself that it does end. It might seem like a million years away. But, the pain ends. Some suffering last our whole life – but it ends. I am comforted by my faith and knowing there is a loving God who does not find joy in our suffering but finds joy in what it makes us become.


There are a few blog sites I love to visit on occassion, as I feel they feed me. They inspire me. And Paul's words reminded me that this is a time of strengthening for our family.

Last week I went to BYU's Woman's Conference for the first time and it was so good for me. I had a few experiences which fed my soul. And then I came home. I must admit I was a little grumpy. Spencer with his cute sense of humor and twinkle in his eye looked at me and said, "Did they hold up the perfect man and you realized that you didn't marry him?" Of course that made me laugh...and I've tried to be more patient and be the wife and mom I want to be.

A year and a half ago I would go running with a friend. Invaribly our conversations would lead to the subject of having more children and I shared with her that we felt we should have another baby. She felt a similar feeling.

Her little boy was born last week and last night we took dinner to them. I volunteered because I wanted to, but knowing that it would be hard to see him. I did cry and my friend just put her arms around me and cried with me. And then I held her beautiful son. It was amazing to see his arms and hands and how effortlessly he breathed. Every breath Connor took required monumental effort.

While at Women's Conference I had the idea to write down things I have learned/gained from the short life of my son. And I came up with seven things that I didn't know a year ago. Sweet things, but they've all come through adversity. And I appreciate things all the more.

I would gladly have Connor all over again, because he captured my heart and I've learned things and have felt things I would not have otherwise.

...becoming