What Do You Do?

For several weeks I've debated whether to post on this subject, but have decided to do it in case you're ever in a position of knowing someone like me...who is (or was) pregnant with a baby who has a terminal illness/diagnosis. 

What do you do?

Just a few months ago I came home to hear a message from my friend Kate on our answering machine.  She had called to talk, as a friend of hers was pregnant with a little girl who had been diagnosed with Trisomy 18 and wasn't expected to live long.

A flurry of phone calls and emails ensued and I love what my friend Kate did.  She hosted a baby shower for this unborn little girl, or a "Celebration of Life," and women came and brought a few thoughtfully chosen gifts for this baby and her family.  Everyone who came to this baby shower knew of the situation and chose to come, to celebrate this little girls existence, and to show support to her mother.

This little girl lived for a few days and I can only guess that she wore the outfits and was wrapped in the blankets which were given her.  Items which I would guess are now treasured.

I have another friend whose family did a similar thing, they gathered together to celebrate a little boy's life, though he would not live long.

Some mothers whose babies have been given a terminal diagnosis would never want a baby shower, or "Celebration of Life."  But to some it may be the most healing thing...to have others acknowledge, show love, support and celebrate the fact that their child exists. 

I wonder if sometimes we focus on the disability (or terminal diagnosis) more than we focus on the fact that these children are real, they are dearly loved by their parents, and are a child of God.

I can't help but think of something I've shared before, something my aunt and uncle wrote to us just after Eli Connor's birth and death...

"...Celebrate life in whatever manner it is granted."

May I add, "Celebrate every life, even if it is to be short."


The sole purpose of this particular post is to give you ideas of what you can do if one of your family members or friends is ever faced with a similar situation.